The Best Way To Destroy Your Flaws Is To Reveal Them

People sometimes gossip. Wait, that’s an understatement.

They ALWAYS gossip. They LOVE gossip. Look at magazines, editorial sites and TV shows that focus on celebrities. All they do is snoop into other peoples’ lives, because their own lives are so uninteresting.

Instead of focusing on themselves and working to fix their own flaws to improve their lives, they dig their noses in other people’s lives and feel good about knowing something “bad” about other people. They love being the bringer of bad news because they get to be in the spotlight. They love the attention, even when the news has nothing to do with them.

There are people in this world who will try to bring people down no matter what by speculating and trying to find flaws in other people. They can’t mind their own business and let others live their lives. They have to talk about other people because there is nothing interesting about themselves.

They try to find the flaws in everyone and bring it out to the forefront, to “expose” them and find chinks in their armor… all to bring up their social status without changing themselves.

People love to know things about you that they shouldn’t know. They just love the thrill of finding out something “secret”, something taboo, that shifts their perspective of you. Their intrusive curiosity knows no bounds. Their lips know nothing of the word silence.

I pity the people who care more about other people’s lives than their own — they know so much about everyone else but themselves. They believe their personalities and lives are so uninteresting that they must live vicariously through other people. They’re missing out on the opportunity to get to know the only person who truly matters — themselves.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

And you know what the worst part is? We let them continue this toxic behavior because we continue trying to hide our flaws and insecurities.

It wouldn’t be fun for them if you put everything out on the table. If you acknowledged all the things you feel ashamed of, all your weaknesses and shortcomings and inadequacies… you have nothing left to be used against you. You are free from living your life in fear of judgment. The people who realize that you are no longer trying to hide anything will sneer and look for their next unlucky and unaware victim.

We think hiding our flaws and insecurities will make us look more confident. We think by hiding them, the people around us will never see them.

Little do we know, the more we try to hide them, the more evident they become to others. We fail to realize that we are walking around wearing our insecurities on our faces for all to see.

I don’t think confidence comes from little tricks like “power poses” or “working out”. You can follow all of these tips from smooth talking, “naturally” charismatic people all over the world, but you don’t truly feel confident.

You feel like a fraud, because at the end of the day, you still don’t believe that you have value as an individual. That your flaws outweigh your strengths. You’re still not acknowledging the root of the problem — you’re trying to take shortcuts or try little tactics that may give you momentary success but ultimately will not change you. You’re still the same insecure and flawed person with a small bag of tricks.

I am still insecure of many things. I still have things I hide, somewhere in the back of my mind, things I am ashamed of, things that would break me if the people closest to me found out.

I still try to be as honest as I can when I write. It’s strange — I can’t say the things I want to say to the people who are closest to me, but I feel free to say whatever I want to a bunch of strangers online.

Why do I write honestly and tell people who don’t know me about some of the saddest, deepest and most influential moments of my life? Maybe it’s because I feel confident when I am speaking the truth. I feel strong when I put it all on the line and say “Fuck it, I don’t care who’s reading.” When I talk of shameful experiences or moments of weakness, I don’t care about how people will perceive me or how people will use this information against me.

I write honestly because I can’t write freely any other way. The words seem to flow out of me. The words align with what I truly believe, and I find myself believing more and more of the things I write.

I write honestly because it’s a form of expression that feels natural to me, and blocking this honesty is like trying to build a dam to limit the natural flow of water. Maybe that’s why I feel writer’s block when I am writing about things I don’t know or don’t truly believe in.

While people walk through life in the shadows, hoping that no sunlight exposes the darkest parts of their lives, you will walk with a glow that makes the insecure people who gossip cower. You will influence those who wish to change themselves, encourage them to acknowledge their own faults and set a course to start improving their lives.

With nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. You acknowledge all parts of yourself, the good and the bad, the parts that you and other people consider imperfections, and you commit to live with them if they are unalterable. Whatever you can change, you will put in effort and hard work to change.

Instead of focusing on what you perceive as negative traits, I find that the best way to overcome your flaws is to admit that you’re flawed. Shout it out to the entire world.

Show them that you are confident regardless of all the shortcomings you may have.

Show them that you are braver than them, that you are courageous enough to shine a light on the darkest part of your being for all to see, and that you are doing everything in your power to change into a better version of yourself.

No one is perfect… absolutely no one. Like precious stones, we have a few flaws, but why focus on that? Focus on what you like about yourself, and that will bring you happiness and peace.

— Richard Simmons

If you want to ask me a question or simply want to talk: @ohc.william@gmail.com. Check out my publication — https://medium.com/sapere-aude-incipe