Hi Nina,

I’m glad that you enjoyed reading my piece and resonated with it. The truth is — you are full of potential. Your parents see you as a smart individual who can achieve anything that you set your mind to. You don’t want to be a disappointment to your parents, who you feel expect a lot from you. You want to live up to the expectations of being a naturally gifted and smart individual who understands and excels at everything.

But sometimes the pressure that the people around us can be a little too much, and when we can’t bear the weight we usually try to drop the entire baggage rather than shift the weight or unload some items. You are right — just because you don’t get A’s and are not the top of your class doesn’t mean you’re not smart. But it does tell you something — you are not currently what you should be. You have things to work on in your life. You have to take responsibility, change your current habits, and work harder to change yourself into the better version of yourself.

Maybe you didn’t pay attention in class and was zoning out, talking with friends, using your phone, etc.

Maybe you didn’t do your homework, which might have helped you understand a concept that you were confused about and ultimately helped you perform better on a test. Maybe you didn’t do the homework because you’re lazy and you’d rather use your phone or watch TV until you have to go to bed, and you’re so tired from all the constant entertainment/distractions throughout the day that you have no time to do your homework.

Maybe you didn’t fully grasp an idea that was taught in class, but you didn’t want to ask questions or attend tutoring after school because you didn’t want to seem like you didn’t get something right away.

I’m obviously assuming your lifestyle — I don’t know what kind of life you live and these might all be wrong. But these are some of the issues that I went through when I was in high school and what I feel that a lot of high schoolers go through. So maybe they’ll resonate with you. Maybe they won’t. But ultimately it’s about you being honest with yourself and asking “What can I do better today that I didn’t do yesterday?” Maybe you can review class notes or read a few pages of your textbook. Maybe you can do your homework right after you get home from school so that you can enjoy the rest of your day without worrying about doing it later at night. Maybe you can set aside 30 minutes to an hour to study for an upcoming test a week before, rather than cramming the night before.

The more small adjustments you make in your life, the better you will feel and ultimately you will change into the person that you are destined to become. You feel sad because you know that you should change but you are unable to currently. Maybe it’s because you don’t know how. Maybe it’s because you’re not ready to change and sacrifice the comforts of your current life. But I can see that you’ve already taken the first step — you are aware that there is a problem. You are aware that you want to change. The next step is to plan and take action. You will never change without action. Take the first step, and practice disciplining yourself. Keep your promises to yourself, and you will be rewarded. You will feel better about yourself and you will become more confident in your abilities again. You are smart Nina, but you must put in the work for your potential to blossom. Don’t be afraid to feel dumb and lost at times. A famous psychologist, Carl Jung, once said that the “fool is the precursor to the savior”. You must be willing to be a novice in order to become a master. You must be willing to fail to find the ways that work and will ultimately guide you to success. Don’t be afraid of bad grades — they are only signs that will tell you if you are doing everything you should be doing. If you studied hard, did your homework, asked questions, and attended tutoring sessions, do you really believe that you’d be getting bad grades? I find that a bit hard to believe.

I wish you the best of luck in everything you choose to do Nina!