Hey Naimul, great question!

It often feels like you can only have one or the other. I think the key here is balance, but it is definitely easier said than done. I wouldn’t consider any time spent with your family and friends wasted. In fact, if you think of each interaction with other people in this world as experiences that help you learn more about others and, ultimately, yourself, you have acquired valuable lessons and insights that you could not have gained anywhere else. You only share a limited time with the people who you care about — if you think you have to ditch them for now to pursue whatever your idea of success is, don’t regret it if you come back and find that they are all either gone or don’t want to have anything to do with you.

Are you willing to make painful sacrifices to reach your goals? There is always opportunity cost to your decisions, so you need figure out what you’re willing to leave behind.

I guess it would also depend on what you were always doing with your friends. Do they always want to slack off, live comfortable lives doing the bare minimum and have no goals to pursue? Then maybe it is time to move on and try to find new individuals to surround yourself with — people who value what you currently value and who are motivated to succeed professionally and financially.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” — Jim Rohn

I’d love to expand a bit more, and maybe I can tackle this problem in another piece, but for now you have to consider what you want in this life and what you’re willing to do to get there.

Would you like to earn lots of money and have a prestigious job at a reputable company? You have to be willing to put in the hours and hard work to get there, which means you will have less time to spend with family and friends, which means the strong ties that you once had with them will naturally become weaker.

Would you like to have a decent paying job that doesn’t require you to work long hours so that you can spend some time maintaining your close relationships? You have to be willing to at least sacrifice some of the time you are currently spending with your friends and family in the short term, but you are willing to forego the things you could have because you believe family and friends are valuable for your life and you would like to keep a close relationship with them for the rest of your life.

This question is not for me to answer. It is for you to ponder and for you to decide. But “time” is only wasted in the utilitarian sense. Sure, you could have been using that time productively or learning a skill that would set you up well for a better future, but it doesn’t necessary mean the time you spent with the ones who you have a good time with was wasted.

Thanks for this thought-provoking question. I hope my response helps guide you toward the pressing questions that you need to ultimately ask yourself. Good luck Naimul :)